| ha |
[Feb. 15th, 2009|04:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Running, please wait... | ] |
Fuck livejournal. |
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| Happiness. |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|06:01 pm] |
I got myself a boyfriend :)
and leaving town with my best friend tomorrow.
Life's good. |
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| Maybe I'm just wasting my time dreaming, in a harsh reality. |
[Jan. 30th, 2009|11:11 am] |
I'm not happy nor sad. It's kind of hard to explain. I'm sick of being let down by friends, especially someone you consider a best friend. It's bullshit actually. You say I mean more to you then any guy will, that you won't lower your standards knowing it'll upset me, but that's all one huge lie. He's going to hurt you, I looked after you, but you won't take a second of your precious time to think about his past and all the shit he's done to other girls. But then again you don't treat boys any better, so maybe it's perfect that you like him. One more thing, Just don't fucking come to me when he screws you over and decides he doesn't want you anymore. You'll realize how much you need me when he's gone. I know it. I don't think I can wait around and give you second chances anymore. You lie to me, you care too much about yourself and I don't think you realize how much hypocritical things you say.
On the happier note, I like a boy, finally. It's been so long. Hopefully something good will come out of this. I really hope so. Time will tell.
I'm leaving town next weekend, I'm more then excited. I need to get the hell out of Rockford, and with my best friend. Nothing is better then that. I need a break. |
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| Friends aren't forever |
[Jan. 27th, 2009|07:52 am] |
its amazing how one second someone can be you're best friend and 'care' about you so much and respect you, then the next second you find out that the same person doesn't give a shit about you, is so disrespectful behind your back and tells people all this shit.
how can you say I'm not a Christian? how I just say I'm one just to raise my 'Rockford status'? I've gone to church my whole life, I've been on 2 missions trips, I've gone to 6 retreats. tell me I'm just saying I'm a Christian, after you see all my completed devotional books, and all the high lighted verses in my Bible.
I've been nothing but a good friend to you, tried to look out for you, just to disrespect me and my beliefs. telling people stuff that's not true. really upsets me. especially by someone who was considered 'my best friend' last week. I'm done trying. I give up. you're going down the wrong path, and I'm done being the one who cares. my mom was right, I need to surround myself with people who won't bring me anymore down then I am.
tell me, who was the one who was with you almost everyday in the summer, except for when you were out of town? who was the one who sat there with you in a parking lot, helping you figure out who you are? who was the one who dropped everything, when you were upset, and walked halfway to see you, let you cry on my fucking shoulder, when you were having a bad day and wanted to end your life..? who reminded you that people loved and cared about you?
yeah? me.
I'm done, you know who you are. and I know this shit won't get to you, I know you don't care, but you're not okay, like you say you are. the road you're going down right now, you won't be okay. you'll have a wakeup call. I promise.
I'm done with this. I'm sick of caring so much about someone who doesn't care about me. I've done so much for you to get nothing in return.
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| ... |
[Jan. 23rd, 2009|01:07 pm] |
I am sick of this.
I want new. |
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| Have faith in me. |
[Jan. 18th, 2009|03:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Downfall of Us All - A Day to Rmember | ] |
There's so much I wish I had. Mainly confidence. I'm jealous of every person that walks by me. Fat or thin, black or white, pretty or ugly, they have something I wish I had. Anything from happiness to style. I wish I was happier being myself. I'm trying everyday to work on it, but not getting anywhere. Something needs to make me open my eyes and let me become comfortable in my own skin. It's been too long. |
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| South. |
[Jan. 4th, 2009|08:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Twilight - Elliott Smith | ] |
Got screwed over, and it hurt & still hurts like hell, but I'll be okay, as long as he's happy.
Last night was the most fun I've had in awhile. It's nice to just randomly leave town sometimes..
School tomorrow, eh, time to get stressed out again!
and no more spiderbites, only one. |
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| you're not making this easy |
[Jan. 2nd, 2009|11:16 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Like A Boy - Ciara | ] |
I really really really need to stop trusting people with my heart so easily. I'm so stupid, I don't really know. He means so fucking much to me, and has for so long. We're finally turning into something, but I feel like it's one of those love triangles like I saw in True Life yesterday. Fuck, why do some guys have to be so amazing with words. I was falling for him so fast, well and we've been talking for a year or so. Hopefully I'm just in over my head, and this is nothing. I really thought he was different like he told me a few times in the past. I want him, so bad, so fucking bad. I wish he'd understand how much the little things hurt me. I'm not letting go of this yet. He makes me so happy, and it felt so right being with him. RAAAAAAWR. boys suck, so does being a girl cause you come with all these damn emotions.
>:] |
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| day one of 2009 |
[Jan. 1st, 2009|10:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | blah | ] |
and I think I'm getting played. |
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